My Aunt Susie

Five years ago today my Aunt Susie went to be with the Lord. She had Ovarian cancer; she was really sick for a long time, but she never complained about it.

My aunt was like a second mom to me, and everyone in our family agrees that Aunt Susie was the glue that held our family together. When she died, all of our hearts were broken.


I miss her. I miss her every day. I thought that the painful intensity of missing her would lessen after several years, but sometimes I am struck with the need to see her, to be near her, to have her thoughtful, dark eyes looking at me again.

I can't describe the kind of person she was, except to say that everyone who crossed her path felt that she valued and esteemed them and they loved her dearly for it. She was lovely; a woman of selflessness.

Sometimes when I am filled with grief over not having her here, I ask the Lord to sit near her, and to be with me at the same time so that I can sort of be near her. I don't know if that is exactly a biblical prayer, but sometimes you just desperately need Jesus to help the ache, and to make heaven a reality by knowing that we are really not far apart, and that we will one day be together--worshiping our King.

A few Sundays ago we sang, "Oh Love that Will Not Let Me Go" in church. I can never manage to sing the last few lines of that song without choking up, because they are written on her gravestone:

O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life's glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.

Come quickly, Lord Jesus. We do long to be with you.